CLOSURE.........30/30 (NPM)

I've traveled many roads but this one was the hardest
30 days of full time thinking,
this must be the true spirit of a poet
Everything from new titles,
exclusively incorporating new words and phrases
development of inspirational messages
reigniting the fire in mics and stages

these are my personal chapters
comprise from sentences, paragraphs to form pages
the results
you learning me
in turn
I'm learn myself
not just another poet
another poem
another book added to some library's shelf
I become a poetical help
a GPS guidance to literature's renovation
My thoughts are the ideas
the pen is the implemented plantation
spoken word births a NEW WORD nation
self creation
based on revelations
a title is a piece initiated on a first brick to foundation
a poem is a listeners vision from his/her salvation

so in conclusion
I've written to satisfy my releases in vented pieces
created entries for a hard back, no longer holding back
these are my thoughts, views, ideas and feelings
My ash Wednesday to Palm Sunday
our 30 day fasting
Last line
ending thought from one mind
I close this piece with Peace
a book composed
as the book unfolds
this piece will close
with my mind finding.............CLOSURE!

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

40/40............29/30 (NPM)

4:30am-1:00pm break in between
3:00pm-11:00pm this is my Monday thru Friday routine
When do I have time to sleep
socializing, is it a possibility
probably not!

Government civil service  in the day
I'm a provided staffer at night
8 plus 8 equals 16
the story of my life

Is it greed?
Of course it is
A want or a need?
A little of both
see I want to keep myself busy
I need to earn more money
Primary job is not quite doing it
plus I'm working on my business degree

Its almost the hustle you find in the DMV
everything is business before fun
networking by the time the conversation is done
but with me
it has no substance, all these years and very little goals
more money leads to yearly owing of taxes
for this
I have nothing to show
I have retirement plans
savings plans
but my savings and checking accounts
verbally say, " you have nothing man"

So I am back where I stand,
well sitting right now
let us equate?
so that's two 40's
not the drinking bottles
the two 8 hours times 5 days
to get me????

That's right!!!

Absolutely nothing!

See the money I thought I could have left over
has become many of my billing plans roll over
extra money to pay off taxes that in fact
I pay all year
extra change to get back and forth to my Job(s) and place
and petro $3.91 for regular so I'm slowing one in a losing race
minus these amounts to the cost of eating
amount of living
wasted cost of driving
and total sum from two incomes
NOTHING
now that's an invested outcome.

Stuck on 40/40

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

DON"T KNOW WHO I AM..........28/30 (NPM)

Introducing??????
Sitting there looking stupid
cause right about now
my mind is silenced
not comprehensive to what I'm suppose to respond when...
they call on me
introduce me as:
Tre
Twist
Twistnwords
TTNU
LeRoy
leroy
Gman
Mr Goetzendanner
who eles
what else
stop it
stop please, stop it
hearing all the names at the same time
but WHO AM I?
a man born with four names before ending it with the third
started writing with little time to recite my shyt
gave me the name of Tongue twist n U,
than left the scene wrapped myself in a cocoon and became twist n words
but
WHO AM I?
making love to my woman I always want to hear her call my name
but I use so many different names I dont know what to hear
she calls me by my nick name
I get confused,
forgetting WHO AM I
jump up say,
"who is this dude"?

Senarios next past two
at a spoken word spot
the place was madd packed
the poets was so hot
13 on the list
not sure who or what name I wrote
next poet going once,
going twice
up next is the feature poet
my homies looked at me
like dude why didn't you jump on stage
looking in confussion, they didnt call my name
but they did,
Who am I?

Copyrights application to set my name in stone
ready to drop this book of emotional 30 day pieces
I had this all done on my own
First I had to put my name
include all information, when, what and where is the place
finally at then I had to sign my name
push the button for send
but the process wouldn't begin
they said resend
the names dont match
I looked up
then down
as I was stuck on that
not sure now which name I'm going to be submitting
government, nickname, or the stage name when I'm spitting
so I re-did the app
and put all names that applied
got the title for the copyrights
now the book name has changed
and it was called
WHO AM I?????

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

POSITIONS.......27/30 (NPM)

Come through the door
no need for announcements
my clothes are half way off
barge into the room and rip yours off
Don't need your conversation
just your waist to my face
and my waist you'll be facing
oral fixating
rewarded with facial fellatio presentation
yeah I know I'm being nasty
lets get past that
licking aggressive says, " can I get that'?
no need to answer
whine your body while its suspended in the air
show me you're a Jamaican dancer
I feast, lick, suck, finger and pull on it
you go deep poll I feel your throat on it
loud suctions, heavy secreting,
moaning in ungrateful prayers, "oh Jesus",
I can't stop eating this
at the tip of climax
I throw you back upon the head
crawled down your body continue to feast between legs
suffercating, your thighs squeezing my head
position my body with a pointed tool at you
gyrating my waist all over you
flipped me over
you on top of me with aggression
inserted me into your tightness
taking all in your possession
no time for recession
my muscle gets wider to every stroking
hands embedded skin on hips
body ark in the direction of eyes rolling
positions you only see in porno's
Karma Sutra has not scribed on lines
pumpin in awkward set ups
you riding with my legs up
side ways with you in L shape leg ups
no time for us to let up
wind blowing breeze through window
as air lays cold to all our exchange in fluids
we keep doing it until rawness
it makes it hurt so good
exploding in releases that can cause a tears to fall
laying there paralyze, with blank stares in our eyes
heavy breaths is all that is left of us
as we laid in soiled sheets
wind blows harder while window blinds slaps against pane
like applause in a concert hall
at least 11 positions
each serving less than 7 minutes per stroking
trying to say something in gratitude for what happen
but mind is trying to figure out what did happen
to weak to move
legs are shaking with little juices running from you
dehydrated from yelling, biting and sucking our flesh away
barely made it out of this dream,
punctuality was cheap, arrived at work late
the point is..
We will do it again, as soon as we ease last nights pain

F it,
lets get back to 20 more positions, as soon as I walk through
the door way...

POSITIONS

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

MISS-COMMUNICATION...................26/30 (NPM)

Trying to walk around with a straight face
but its hard to carry on when there is something MISS-placed
I found about it early this morning
sometime during the drive at work
looking for the sounds I live for
the kind sounds birds make when waking up
So I started to play with her like normal
get her ready for today actions
but she ignored me
didn't respond to me
whats the meaning of her work she is lacking

so I chilled for a minute
took deep breaths and held her close
ignoring the fact she wasn't working with me
so I belayed my last
delayed this recent act
pump up the volume and looked ahead
she really got me trippin the head
My friends warned me about this day
said you couldn't last a minute
without her in your face
even my female friends start trippin
said I can't go nowhere,
with anyone
without her with me

I'm trying to figure out what made her disconnect
was it too much exposure
not enough space and too much closure
I know it wasn't disrespect
cause everyone know, she will never feel neglect
Then it dawn me
Maybe I used her up
maybe she was exhausted
and just given up
I was stuck
really stuck on stupid
I fell in love with her
well before being struck by arrows from cupid
man this is stupid
think, man think
then I came across this weird sync
some man on the voicemail
gave me this link
HE said, " the subscriber you are trying to call
is unavailable, please hang up and try your call again.
Shocked
displaced
Miss-placed
disconnected
no reception
the end point
PAY YOUR CELL PHONE BILL.......

BY LeRoy Goetzendanner

GIFTED BEYOND BEING SPECIAL....25/30 (NPM)

Gifted beyond being special

This is for the wonderful kids and people born with a gift like no other.

They are not special, they are just gifted beyond being special.

My name is.......GIFTED?

And I am Gifted

It's no one's fault how

I was born,

and the particular characters

I have to live with...

I'm gifted!

My name is..........TALENTED?

And I have a special talent,

so I might be slower than others

but I manage to finish my task through

I might stutter at times

it may be hard for you to understand my writing

it's yours that's abnormal

it's yours that requires special translation

My name is..........SPECIAL EFFECTS?

Maybe I'm born with side effects

of physical defects

that affects my way of living

I can do what you can do

and still function with less stress of living

You can laugh at me

but when you see me laughing back

the reality is the joke is on you

We are the ones suffering

cause this world is abnormal

and we are THE REAL NORMAL, that was born in it

Did I tell you My Name is..........?

Gifted beyond special

Rebelliously

Educated

To

Abnormal

Ridicule

Determining

Everlasting

Dedication

Who is the retarded one,

me?

or you?

So when I roll in my wheel chair

crutches climbing steep stairs

loud noises sounding everywhere

hearing aids in my ear

eyes completely impaired

I'm still standing here

and I will be standing even when you fall

because I will be somewhere as someone

My name is...........Normal

Gifted beyond being special

So what is your excuse and who has the problem?

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

aka

Twistnwords/WORDS FROM THE SOUL...

D-IS ADVANTAGE(Dis-advantage) Haiku

A divorced person
is not a down fall for love
it's a learning tool.  (TNW)

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

SEEING HER PAIN.....24/30 (NPM)

I wonder if she criess in her sleep
I wonder if any of her prayers are prayers for me
does her heart grows weary
does the laughter in beauty
are blocked mirages of eyes that are teary

and when we sleep,
as I face the wall in the opposite direction of facing her
at the same time, is her back turned?
does she hope that I would turn over and lean onto her
hold her
use these arms to protect to her
and show some kind of love to her
or does she close her eyes hoping to wake up in her bed
and that we,
we were only a dream in her head

Such a sad song I play, the extended version in instrumental
am I being real with myself,
does my heart release any love
or simply my lust blocking the mental, and loving through the physical

How much does my kind words hurt the love developing inside
how can I sleep at night acting like everything is alright
I think the truth floats above salty waters
can't pretend that we are not dating in lies
why portray like laughter when it hurts
with minds on a one track compromise
why ask why
the truth is
we are not seeking for the answers
but simply living by the day
as the plague of hurt spreads rapidly,
like broken polyps on Cancer

Here comes the rain again that's imitating her cries
thunder, makes her fold down on her stomach
of eternal pain
winds blows, cause she can not breath no more towards love
then lightning strikes
all goes dark
silence becomes are mouths
and that very minute, the thought of loving was lost...

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

WAYWARD.........23/30 (NPM)

We say one thing, then do another
do one thing, but get annoyed with its done by others
Your understandings
will lead to mis-understandings
Sometimes its better to be direct with your actions
then allowing your actions to be indirect in situations
I don't do complication with personal
a quote from my favorite poets thoughts
See all I need is some understanding
maybe some clarity in the beginning
don't let this become a tug-a-war
resulting to your winnings
directed to your endings
lets stop pretending
we are who we built ourselves to be
there's nothing wrong
with you doing you
and me doing me
but lets shed some light on consideration
put more thought in others feelings and less on admiration
this can be an avoided situation
but only if could lead to an unwanted confrontation
believe me, I had my share of being wayward
saying one thing, then changing it as I moved onward
Our personalities is not the best company
its a development on selfish judgement
but it doesn't work for everybody
so between you and me
and only take this as a suggestion
when we make the announcement of this confession
that we are going through a transition
don't forget to remind yourself of a poem that was written
that this is just a learning point
take it as a progression backed with a blessing.


By LeRoy Goetzendanner

RESUSCITATE............22/30 (NPM)

A sudden occurrence
difficulties comes in multitude of changes
can't seem to function
this may be damaging
Shortness of breath,
which cause my speech to sound like lisp tongue
vision distorted from watery eyes
bodily functions freeze in paralysis state
joints want work with muscles to stand
arthritic shaking of my hands
I'm way pass the act of nervousness
sweat beading on head, can't handle this
blackout and then a Angel at the light
came to
saw you
symptoms started all over again
the instance I saw you walk by and smile.........


By LeRoy Goetzendanner

SMOKERS LOUNGE........21/30 NPM

A mental, "Do enter premises"
better wear clothes you don't care about,
prepare for the smokey smell when your leaving out
"Hey bro, do you have a smoke on you"?
Dayum!!!! Did you smell that on me?
Man is this some kind of act with smokers pheromones on me?
Cuz, I don't even smoke, but Surgeon General said,
"second hand smoke is killing me"
Why must I have to be "a turn on sign", for you to light one?
You have 9 Ionic breezers,
5 Glade fresh breeze releasers
plug-ins in every outlet,
And Axis spray to fresh scent and de-smoke up my outfit??? (when I leave)
WTF???
I can't believe this,
can you please install an intercom outside your door
so I can talk to you from the other side of the door
and keep smoke perfumes from you, on the inside
I'm trying to be polite
but can you see why I don't come by
its that nicca teen I smell
backing away from the smoke cloud I see
that haze that blazed my suits, with stinky hair for days
feel like I walk into a foggy morning in the light of day

there you go, looking for a lighter
thats my Q,
"See I got to leave, drowning from the smoke fire"!
Please understand,
I really care about you
but I also care for your health
hell,
I care more about mine
I'm the one in need of oxygen help
maybe I'll get over this phobia
during one of your pow wows
but I have to go
I'll call from here on out
Mom, I have to go right now
cough cough, cough, love you!
THE SMOKERS LOUNGE

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

FILLING GREAT SHOES..........20/30 (NPM)

We all have a path in life
and in that road, there is a moment.
when we step up and take some ones place.
as a man we're faced with difficult challenges
walking in the shadows of men before us
hoping that WE, individually,
will meet the expectations
successfully achieve
and leap all hurdles and obstacles in our way

from the time of birth,
before we could pray with hands
there lives a soul that searches for a new host
a second chance in life
with a new task

I'm, a black man
painted in brown shades
I'm a African American in groupings,
but there are no proofs
in truths of African in my DNA
there are already plans for me
to successfully not succeed
that my education high
but in low class separation
that Yale, Princeton and Harvard
will be a hand out
for smart black man's education
but that's not "their" foreseen destination
You see, for me
they see poverty where I'm living
foster homes before I reach my teens
Juvenile detentions will be a second home
robbery would be the job I own
selfishly impregnation to several queens
B & H's is there name born from my lips for me to demean
hired help to public service
is my qualification
why third worlds get better situations
destiny(right)

They're counting on me from day of birth
they hope I be the big brother
someones role model
and great father
and one woman lover
a truth by God's will
Spiritually guided from the blood spill
all Met protector with zero kills

but demons are birth in the world with my Angels
wrong and right choices becomes my angle
if my destiny is set
I will have control of what's destined for me
a brown black man's prayer
take me there
let me try on the good pair
the shoes I will fill
towards a death degree of somewhere.

These shoes.

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW......19/30 (NPM)

If you want me to express myself
tell me to write it down
as you know by now
if you haven't quite followed me 19 days into my journey
I say things from thought,
not quite vocally, but through my ink

If you ask me whats puzzling me
and I can't produce ink
text me
and let me text back in a form of vent

I'm a man of many words as my name in titled
I have thoughts on my mind
my own thoughts
from my own mind
I condense all thoughts in one side of my cerebral
so if I don't seem to come out voluntary or vocal

ask me to write

put me in the spotlight like an interrogation
make me write all my confessions on paper
I wont avoid the invitation
cause you wont get me to speak,
well unless the stage is before me
but make sure you are ready
for the thoughts that speak out of me
because truthfully,
I can deal with writings, texting, emailing messages
try to expect very little vocal
probably more understanding
and you can read it while I'm front of you
but just don't ask me to tell it

Lets pretend for a moment,
that I'm mute to verbal exchange
and the only way I can express in anyway
is by writing it,
In fact
you find its much interesting
I simply answer, quickly and fluently
and actually put the right words and thoughts into it
so if you get upset and offended
then it was intended
if you smile and feeling this
then this poet knows what he is thinking when he is writing it

but just don't ask me to speak it
cause without thought
I get nervous of course
stutter, with force
no direct eye contact, probably
and what I say may come clearly, hardly
but one thing for sure
you can rely on me,
when responses are accurately with punctuality
written without speech.

That's "if you wanted to know".

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

WRITTEN PIECES, SPOKEN WORD MESSAGE.........18/30, (NPM)

Poetry is written for personal and emotional reason
a lived out, life long scenario
of ones trials and tribulation
A release after venting, when love ones wont listen
confessions to ourselves until spoken out loud
a silent mind running towards venting
a prayer for change,
a delegation towards a name once introduced to a stage
but does a poem written become an announcement to poetry?
can it be introduced into spoken word game??
Can every piece be released with a delivering beast
and performed and as it is written in the same?
does every poem have a stage setting
and the end of the piece was there leverage and a possible message
are you a writer with good work
or a spoken word artist, with a performing curse
a genetically engineered poet, was born when written
a trophy to the stage world, when he echoed through voice spitten
it was written
a pen and paper is your foundation
the stage is your prime into completion
we are the spoken originated from the written thought
and the end we articulately speaking!!

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

DISTANT THINKING..........17/30, (NPM)

Your body is still with me,

But your mind is on, the other side of town

Messing me around…

And Truth is

Your sitting next to me

But our thoughts are sailing across the pier we gaze into

Realities of future commitments put a wall in the friendship

Slowing us down like speed bumps in the road

We both follow the same path until we reached that fork

That  decides our curse towards love

A penny for you r thoughts??

I say.

But her reaction is the same facial expression  my mind is answering

The problem is

I need to be answering the question myself before asking it

Instead of waiting for responds to it

We continue to get lost in the excitement, noise

And applaud of winds to swaying waters

Corner eying  each other so indirectly

Wondering what to say,

Wondering what we our thinking

So instead of releasing our feelings without destroying this moment

The only resolution is to stare into the line of eye sight of nowhere

Place our mental focus on spoken words and poetry

At least there,

There is very little interruptions through emotional stresses

For real

Why ponder on what it is, and what it can be

Lets just live by today

And figure on the answer to the question

Are you and me equal WE

Or we just friends!!!

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

GETTING WET...........16/30, (NPM)

Forecast  says rain all day,
and babe I know how you feel on those days
especially if its a going to get your hair did day
but can we interrupt your routine
take off your tiara and your mabeline
spontaneous actions with this falling rain
can I see how you look all drenched and wet
cold liquids falling from the heavens,
my Ecstasy of letting lose lets open this can of sex
starring at you as your raisin brown nipples protruding through silk blouse
rain drops down the side of your face, giving your dry Mac,
a smile like wet lip gloss on your mouth

let me touch you, from behind
let my swellings touch you, from behind
some sensual about being drenched
I say play your favorite love song in your mind
and let us sway and switch

let me turn you around,
lips dive into your neck
your grasp, followed by laugh
while you grabbing the back of head
push me slowly down
to knees down
face to waist to linen expose G-string out
my favorite boy short is in turquoise revealing
pull out the knot in drawing strings,
free willing
your leg raises like a crane
then hooks down on my shoulder
your hand slides down brown and round
and disappear in your Vickies....I love ya

dry grinding in falling rain
I carry you inside
and take you to the balcony
so anyone and every one can see
lowering pants
me ease up with mi limb
and we do this sexual dance

this scene reminds me of the surprising down pour
while walking the sands on South Beach
people running for cover
while we standing there kissing
your sun dress was wet
my linen outfit was wet
both decided to go commando
so everybody knew what we weren't wearing under clothes
I rush you against the wall
like the back alley scene in 9  1/2 weeks
hips gyrating like a Jamaican Dance hall queen
your internal wet mixed with outside wets
made sexing outside become a dry scene

back to the balcony, you and me
me backs hotting, to putting your back out
felt so good to have wet shoulders in  my mouth
moans with grunts commanding me
demanding me to dig deep
passer byers with umbrella watch WE
like the sex scene in CRANK,
cheering and applauding me
that voyeur actions only made me thrust faster
tug hair just a little harder
smacking ass cheeks much harder
she turning over her shoulder with eyes much wider
saying OMG,
this watching making you harder

forget about the hair day
the line suit by Versace
make up running like fresh spray painted murals
not something the neighbors are use too
but they keep their TV's on weather channels
so they can set their calenders and clocks
the next showing on HD, balcony and US in see through....

WET SEX

By LeRou Goetzendanner

STAB-BILITY BUILT FOR ONE........15/30 (NPM)

I live a lovely life style catered to one
I mean I buy what I need,
my savings are never over drawn
credit cards never exceeds..........
my limits!

It didn't dawn on me until I starting dating,
you know,
taking in a little responsibility
that I didn't fit in my financial capability
to take care of you, me and future creditability.
I mean its easy to make a budget consisting of you,
saving for plans ahead featuring.....YOU
having nothing to worry about every payday
cause you have enough saved to last you 90 days
even got it set when it comes to raining days
but this is just stability built for one

stability is a a comfort zone
so you lack the learning experiences of SHARING
groceries plentiful for one,
toiletries last more than two months,
nothing that compliments one and two
only temporary amenities
almost like over nite stays
but most of the time they bring their own stuff anyway

REALITY......

I'm in a bind,
certain bills are falling behind
some increased with added usages
my income looks like outcomes,
I'm not quite use to this
pockets are tighter than skinny jeans
my bank accounts haven't held deposits in green.....lately
all the white letters are turning pink
phone calls are no longer friends,
my friends don't have 800 numbers,
well I think

Gas is rising faster than my car can move
speaking of which
rent is going up
so I think I need to pack and move, pack and move
started this financial spreed sheet
don't live by months no more
more like days of the week

dating has declined
so I took on a second gig
I'm living on a thin line
it's been a month since I shaped up my wig
only dollar specials found in my frig
plenty of DVDs with no cable in the crib
I hate how I live
plus the Acura is making a funny noise
and you know how high the repair figs......can be

STAB ility,
feel like recession all by myself
strugglin like the disable trying to walk
but pride keeps me from asking for help
haven't tried to pray
I feel my problems are only minor delays
dayum
I hate this
so embarrassed,
I could only write this

F it, I'm too poor to post this
I'll write later when I can afford it

STAB-BILITY........

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

SHARE.......14/30(NPM)

Trying to open up and offer my 50% to your 50%
and that's difficult
you see,
all my life, "its been just me, one is the magic number"
adjusting my lifestyle for the presence of another
well this just seems like a invasion of my privacy
a bachelors arrangement of comfort
Even then a invitation to just chill
is immediately becomes a toll placed upon entering
though I want you to stay the night
I know it will change some order in my ways of living
See a change will come to eating dinner
to taking showers
and sexually connecting
this could easily put deformity,
where the next day I don't know my environmental section

suddenly,
life has new meaning,
to me
But I'm not trying to see change
I want to wake up to a routine that has been more
than 30 years before last night starting my early day

Now I have to cater to you.......laying there
my sheets are not the fabric softener smells of downy
the second set of pillows are medium from being once firm and full
the left side of bed, which was always the empty side is warm
not cold
it has a new level of equality adjusted to your shape and weight
clothes not put away
but they lay in that place,
and clutter that space
hairs on my neck being to raise

see....

there goes my routine
got to re arrange my new scene like a movie
feel like I have OCD
but its just
just not my space of untaintedness
Don't get me wrong
last night was some off the wall,
hot sex on a platter, craziness
it was so amazing
and it was nice having a presence other than my shadow here
but I'm deranged on this new re arrangement
I'm losing my head
my commitment to my single family dwelling
was cheated on
because I brought in another
allow them to stay like I live
wake up and see the light
and breath the air made for just one

Please
Does anyone feel like this other than me
trapped in a one fitted environment, hosted by me
violated on my selfish sharing,
a share I never thought of
until I woke up in my routine
and found you were still laying there.......

SHARE

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

MULTI-ME 13/30 (NPM)

A voice in anger
kindness in my split
I can love you
He can lust you
intentions to stay
but actions leads him to quit
I'm thinking commitment
he wants commencement
I want relationship
he needs to relate and dip


I know
he don't know
we know
different reaction
see it on our face,
which action will show
so......


today, who's it going to be?


I wake up
he lays there
I work there
he works where?
I'm the truth
he is the lie
I make them laugh
he makes them cry
I'm the suave'
he is the swagg
I make it better
he makes it bad


call on me
but you call on he
so you call on we
my two and you, makes three


so...
who will be
the question is
which will it be???


all multee
faces like Man-E
twins in zodiac selection
visual only mirrors reflection
you can see he
but you see me
you know its me
but you know when he.......appears
I'm such a romantic
he is such a sarcastic
I use the smart pass
he is such a smart ass
but you like me
I mean him you like
I'll be your days
he will wreck your nights


you must chose
chose now you must
who is it going to be
do you have to ask?
who will it be???
the answer is WE!!!



MULTI-ME

by LeRoy Goetzendanner

MADE HER RAIN........ 12/30 (NPM)

The spot in the middle of the of bed indicated,
that a storm brewed during the course of love making
not quite sure when her wells overflowed
from me braking her dam,
didn't hear her alarms in screams,
but I remember barking dogs responding
like silent whistles blowing.

I remember her arching and twisting
from me clamping, pulling and licking
but her moans remain silent,
her eyes were blocked by her lids
you can see the strain forcing vision to look upwards
intensity brought about the love vein,
that runs down your hair line like lightning to surface
on your skin

though you had no strength before the commencing
the leg locks, biting on the shoulders, nails piercing skin
followed by grunting, easing down to adjust yourself to receiving strokes
was more than convincing,
centainly pleasures brings muscles,
in orgasmic releases,
promoting shivers and numbness,
while your exposures from once tight closures
couldn't be hidden from blinking eyes
and a grand finales,
as the body lays paralyzed in limbed pieces.

catching your breath,
while sweat continues to bead forehead
and hair frizz to humidity of heavy breaths
communication was all but stares at each others eyes 
looking at complete darkness
only acknowledgements was pacing breathing in presence
I feel your extractions on me, around and all over me
I'm laying cold in your puddle and warm from the rewards
I look towards the ceiling,
night dreaming and remembering what?

after I MADE HER RAIN....

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

PROFESS........ 11/30 (NPM)

I want to love you like the love in my poetry
Waking up and saying the right things
Being able to confess how I feel without burring it inside
My poetry is that magical get a way
sometimes allowing me to be your prince charming
always blessing you with words to say,
I want to paint you the white clouds in blue skies,
dance with you on top Saturn's rings
I want to make love on a open field
where the stars are Jehovah witnesses

I want to feed you in nouns
and caress you in verbs
I want to announce your name in all my titles
you be the motivation to spoken word
I want to play instruments that only sound like your name
purchase luxury cars, that only define your frame
I want to be the Rules
instead of being the player in the game
I want to say I love you, way before you feel the same

But I'm only expressive in my mind
I found I say all the good things, when they are scribed on notebook lines
having so much courage when the stage is mine
and just for a moment, you are my spot light
you are my audience
my fan club
my publisher
you illustrate my thoughts through my penmanship
your the beginning
the body
and my signature
You are my hymn
my noted chapters
my scriptures
my Amen to all my prayers
so why can I come to you,
like I confide in spoken word
share through my writings

maybe I will open myself like a brand new book
and speak directly to you and not whisper to my poetry.

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

THE FIGHT.......Day 10, Poem #10 (NPM)

Sitting here starring at the shirt I have pressed off
tie neatly laying across the bed
I woke up to the sounds of Donnie McClurkin
My suit was chosen before I turned in

First mistake
I was blessed with another day
and didn't give thanks by kneeling and praying
instead of getting up and giving HIM praise
I'm on this blog thinking of what to say
I still have time to dawn my mind and suit
get in the word, take what I heard
letting your message be my guide and be the beginning of the NEW

but I haven't budged,
sitting here with a blank look in my expression
sounds like another round
the devil has put me down
I thought I was rehabing, making progression in transgression
bad thing is
my thoughts right now while I'm starring at my bed
yeah,
taking my non focus,
always broke ass
don't give a WHAT,
back to my bed
and instead,
if I can't make into God's house
I'll make mine into his
flip open the bible and read several scripts
and convince myself I can beat this...........habit
Must pray
I have to pray
gotta pray
This is not your day(devil)
Round 2, almost belong to you
Devil, not going to let you win this kid

THE FIGHT!

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

ONE DAY...... Day 9, Poem #9 (NPM)

Patience,
overstanding
equality
trustworthy
responsibility
Yet
you are waiting for me
somewhere sleeping to me
the night time lullaby I hear in my dreams
don't wake me, I'm dreaming
do see the peace when I'm sleep?
wish you can see the pieces in my sleep
no road blocks
very few obstacles
just a hold on me, in my sleep its protecting
worries are for the awakenings
those who are not in subconscious state
See I pretend like I don't want you
and I want you
but I have to keep myself at high alert
keep feelings with daily challenges
see I'm the owner of this heart
a delegate of this art
you will get the change with me
"In patience we trust"

One day, you'll see.

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

BACK TO YOU......Day 8, Poem #8 (NPM)

I won't fail at getting your heart
I know one day you will fulfill the vacancy in my arms
I can already see us keeping each other warm
to days that we sigh in love sprung exhales
celebrating in rejoice how are love was born

I'm not giving up on the idea
that this distance is just and obstacle
I know love will bring you back here
Maybe I didn't work hard enough to make you stay
it was evident when I helped you pack,  as I watch our love drive away

I know I was foolish
I didn't see the big picture
while constantly hitting dead ends
lacking faith and prayers to be with ya
but this growing man is more focus
goal oriented to once again feel this
so motivated to have this

see love has got a hold of me
I'm slowly dying inside
so to get back in a proper state of mind
I allow God to take control of me
I need this love in my system
I want nothing else but for you to mentally hold me
happiness in my eyes when your presence unfolds me

no more hiding behind the walls of masculinity in lack
I'm waiting in extended arms,  for that day you would come back
I'm not wishing no more for us
praying hard and letting God take the Job of restoring us
this was only a temporary set back to test the strength of our faith
do you see how much more loving is possessing our  space

We are almost at the end of the road
no more fighting the battles of concern for love
we are our only fires the are burning in the yearn for love
the lights are lit
my vision is getting much clearer
the dreams are becoming more reality
a ending towards a beginning
that you will be back with
yes
back with me
and in love again....

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

NOT MYSELF....Day 7, Poem #7(NPM)

I'm not myself,
not even close to the person I was a year ago today
routine is well off,
so I'm not feeling how I should feel in anyway
some days don't feel like getting up
most days I hate to drive
work is so dayum routine,
dealing with customer service,  and they call me mean

I'm so not myself,

not enjoying my day to day
because of change I'm losing mental space
ideas are overwhelming me,
My car is dayum near on E,
my pockets deep with no money
white mail is turning to pink notices
Government deadlines, talks of closings

I'm so not me,

Use to be a time I was happy
happy about weekends and parties
paydays, to paying bills, left over money
led to me going shopping
Not  me...
I don't even drive in the direction of my favorite stores
I'm wearing horse blinders to create a visional detours
disgusted with my closet,
these items I don't want to see or wear no more
its pretty obvious
I'm not being me


When was I me last
I mean in the past you could catch me with a laugh
use to be a time it was worth approaching my path
now I'm smiling with a smirk,
while at work, I'm looking bit mad
serious faces in all happy places
times like this was discouraging to my faith
messages from the good book left confusion on my face
I kneel to pray, work for the faith
loving my dreams so much, I don't want to awake

This is just not me,


social problems
because of financial problems
aging quick becomes a physical problem
driving with car problems
work place, I got  mo problems, mo problems, mo problems
problems I can't attempt to solve them
problems with equating, no time do I have to resolve them
love is the problem
a bigger problem to be in love
leads to my problems with sleep,

but again, this not me!

relying on half a bottle
traveling under the speed limit
to save gas by using less on the throttle
physique is not DETAILS to be a GQ model
Devil is a former angel and from this angle
that makes me a angel in demonic bible

but no proof to show to me
or convince you to convince me
that this is NOT ME

dependency on being lonely
needy only when I'm feeling the intimacy
I might chant love, but still feels like lust to me
this ain't the voice of a Gemini talking
that other side died long ago, so I let it go 
the twin no longer resides with me

But, I'm still not feeling me

Rejections
no connection
no service
worthless
ink is drying
my poetry dying
head is crying
mouth keeps lying
and in the end,
my thoughts are implying.......

I'M NOT MYSELF....a poem that needs no replying!

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

UNLIMITED DESTINATION.........Day 6, Poem #6(NPM)

I should be heading home
of course I'm tired and my bed waits for me
but this play list in my Ipod has got me in the zone
tonight, I'm passing my exit with no destiny
my turn lane is approaching in three miles
not paying attention to my relaxed foot, heavy on the peddle
I could be a target for a violation
and at late night, you don't want the Po Po situation
cuz they crazy after midnight

But I'm grooving to Jaguar Wright, and she is nice
red lights and siren, can't ruin my night
sippin on green tea, moon roof half way open
no traffic to the front or back of me
the black Acura is constantly flowing
track 6 keeps going,
side nodding while rocking to CONYA
adjusting the EQ's, base up, while lowering my treble
lightning flashing in the clouds
while the moon beams on high
it would be nice though,
if there was a passenger on the side

but track 15 took me away from that
"I'm a orange moon, reflecting the light"
did you catch that,
ERYKAH being singing the hell of those tracks
I want to be, "far away from here, far away from here,
FAR AWAY FROM HERE,
see that's my track while speeding 91 in the AC
I'm so irresponsible
depriving myself of sleep I need
burning up gas with distance and speed
ask me if I care?
just one time in my life
I wanted to be on cruise control and GPS a destination to,
"St Elsewhere"
No phones ringing
Facebook can't find me
no one to go home too
all my problems are behind me
"Maybe I'll just Cruise.......Away from here"
the question is,
do I continue to drive until the road comes to a dead end
sit there idling until gas runs on fumes
pounding and tapping with my NEO-soul tunes
base high
hoping I may reach low cell in battery
or blow a few fuses real soon
I was suppose to turn back when last track, #76 ended
forgot the setting is on continuous,
a new play list was beginning
reset the GPS
next stop on Navigational map
an UNLIMITED DESTINATION marked with a red "X"

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

CLUTTER..... Day 5, Poem #5 (NPM)

Balled up trash in and out of my trash can
writers notebook stacked like sand bags during the storm
Books laying at angles with book marks of imcompletion
Pen shells in gigantic coffee mug with less than a period of ink
left in them
my favorite chair facing the window
laptop with bouncing tonguetwistnu screen saver
having a memory less than 6MB open for storage

These are the days of my horded life

empty wine bottles
corks tops stacked high to form a pyramid
collection of Cd's from poets and artist heard and unheard of
posters of famous writers, jazz artist and photography
t-shirts with famous quotes,
cigars ready to light and after a piece is complete
to the last page of a Meade spiral, stacks of posted notes
A calender with everyday filled in with poetry spots local and away
these are the routines, how a poet spend his day

These are the ways of my crowded life

Then came spring
the time of year I get rid of the old just to buy more new
"all I need is room, plenty of room"
but my space is consumed with reminders of my art
my love for the creativity
my connection in links, my poetic family
do I care if I walk through the door
fall to the floor
from tripping to a stack of books
hopscotching over a section of face down Cd's
avoiding statues, and paintings
standing pens and pencils(in aisles)

My home is my type of serenity away from cleaning
a mess that you just can't understand
one thing thrown away
takes me away from my foreign land
a clean house
is a place I can't identify with
a familiar that leaves me with amnesia
I am the clump in my trunk show

They call me............CLUTTER

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

REMEMBERING THAT FEELING......(#4, Day 4/NPM)

Kissing you can resolve a grown man's appetite
you fulfill me in our last time
which was the first time in a long time
we bonded in togetherness
and this time we both shared feelings
as I slowly inserted myself in
there was no time frame
no back away from me, with our in and out game
we breathed each others strokes
bit down on each others flex
hands intertwine, legs locking like pretzels
lips never skipped a connect
tongues outlining each other smiles
while my minty breath, to yours
cause each release in loud smacks and ahhs in moans
it was before our eyes, risen vapors in smoking mild

We did make love,
see we were able to concentrate on us
focusing more on our feelings with the fill ins
ignored all sounds other than our heartbeats
and suction announcements between pounding pelvises
we took our rhythm back to the Caribbean
whining to a song not yet created,
imagining we were Eve and Adam
wishing our release was the procreating start of humanity

God blessed us that night,
by giving us one more chance on a approach with opportunities
rekindled our love, in the mental and foundation of spirituality
See....
I can't...
I won't,
I made it a must not to forget that first and last night
the first time of all years, when you brought the sun into our night
I still hold on to that memory
I can't let go of the images
I move foreword to go back on one night privileges

I remember.........that feeling

By LeRoy Goetzendanner