Love vs Lust

Through my personal experiences,
i have come to this subtle conclusion
it is not my time to love


let me re phrase this


it is not my time to be in love


As the tears forms in scores of eternal outcries
the truth hurt my deceiving heart
causing my mouth to only speak out lies
It must have been some kind of game of intrigue
that had me to speak
guiding not with my navigating heart
but with the pointing stem that became rose poison
through lustful seeds


so I continue to move on successfully
inclination to levels of selfishness
taking away ones serenity
and savings
to put on my shelf of perishables
from missions complete


I leave behind words that encouraged possibilities
bleeding inks that were force to speak in deceiving tongues
and when the satisfactions of self inflicted gratification was rewarded
I turned over as a norm
a cold frost from a once heated storm
leaving my victim broken hearted and numb


its because of me
some will not believe in love though a poets words
how I addressed you with titles
and undressed you with nouns and verbs
the last thing you often remember before disrobing before me
all the saving
all the recovery
from broken past
forked out paths
you constantly consume my words,
but forgot about doing the math


yeah,
the number game
the ones that talked about percentages
and categorized stalkers by averages
equating to one or two delegated to the name privileges.


But its not about you
it about the spit as split and divide of me
the love vs the lust
the Gemini I stand for
and I and I, well the truth is in the eyes
and not what I say to you


I knew from every approach I wasn't ready for her loving
or her loving
or her kindness
and her loving, and loving and....
lusting is all I could draw out of them in the beginning,
you can admit to the sudden high
that got us by
the get to know you admittance
quick insertions were diversions
of me silently exiting


that was just the Representatives talking for us
trying to by pass the essential part of meeting and greeting
instead of meeting, and meeting and meeting in between
dark corners
tint black cars
hotel rooms
and my bedroom
and still not knowing a dayum thing about the person we sleeping with


lusting


just another sad song the radio don't play
the lack of beating a heart constantly displays
and I'm lost
lost
far, far, far, deep in the struggle


of a man trying to love without lust........


to be continue...................

By LeRoy Goetzendanner