APOLOGIES

I apologize
for any and everything
I made more things
into small things
lost somethings that was my one thing
that one thing was my everything
now I shrug my shoulders, 
towards having nothing

I apologize
for consistently being inconsistent
when Times I was wanted
maybe times I was needed
my time plus your time,
always equals me missing
when throwing in towels
before I tried
so I lie their defeated
the defeat of myself
my all by myself
my lonely self
done with no ones help

I apologize
for not believing
losing myself and my faith
in body you were missing
but your mind was always in place
not using my mind
to think before I would say
I say this with thought
cause today's saying
was suppose to be said yesterday
yesterday was the past days
and the past days of yesterday was fail marks
on my tester days
So I say this now to move foreword

I apologize
for loving a little
and not enough
for saying I cared
but showing care was tough
tough love,
make love hide
tough love
can make love die
tough love
make walls go up
tough love
will cause things to fall apart
tough love is heartless
so pictures are painted in lust
tough love was tainted
so good love is there, but not for us

I apologize
for apologies after apologies
that I didn't mean
but what was said
was pretty mean
I apologize for apologizing
before a apology was needed
I apologize
as I accept that I
was my personal war being defeated
I accept that I
got work to do
to make apologies no longer needed
So I won't say that word
but my last word is the title
say it with me in silence
cause that word is, was and always be
my battle

**That title above***

By LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner