NEVER ENDING JOURNEY TO NOWHERE

There's a road out there that leads to somewhere

a existing path somewhere that leads to nowhere

facing my crossroads in life

my straight is divided by fork, but split by the knife

Trying not to let my left see my rights

lost counts of Sun-days and Moon lights

So why can't I decide my faith

I have faith in your judgement

you don't have faith in ways??

I was created in your likeness

so my thoughts, my ideas, my directions I go

your telling me you don't trust me which is you

so you the higher being don't trust us both??

Blistering feet is examples of the length I would go

dehydration and starvation is sacrifices of the road

no compass and navigation

I use the shadows, stars and sunlight

as my days in counting, seasons passing

the only way I can tell my passing time

and in my appearance time has pass me slow

daily depressions, which lead to stressing

found a short cut to fast pace of me turning old

long way to go my, "conscious says"

the only person to talk to

my guide of memories embedded head

almost there I murmur

I remember my starting was with enthusiasm

that was 17 years ago, the month of September

Please tell me

someone tell me

that there is a end of the road to new beginnings

that visions of finish lines and white lights are not mirages

but my somewhere to nowhere's ending

So I march on...........

By LeRoy Goetzendanner



WRAPPED TIGHT.............

One cloth less to being naked
skirt to high for bruthas, with derogatory  plots to take it
appearing in public with just a bra on
low riders jeans, thigh highs skirts, to show your thongs
pretty toes all jacked up by the age of 21
gravity setting in, D's going flat, until we notice none
looks all caked up
in Mac make up
went from 16 that day at the club looking over twenty one

Fellas your age is no longer your speed
looking at man, with a car, house, money he can throw for free
you like poppin bottles
whispers in your ear that you are top model
waking up with headaches and aches down below waist
with cash on the night stand, and note saying "take a cab home"

repeat your routine all week
man from last night look at you saying, " you know me?"
worn out goods
a princess gone hood
can't get back your serenity
public don't care about your dignity
you ain't a star but you parade in see through clothes with humility
a child in the head, while the body that is way pass maturity

when will you slow down
babe you need to slow down
stop being the girl in the hoe down
traveling in the city the part where you go down
walking on air, you know, legs up when you lay down
cant see a face when your at a waist, or laying face down

stop looking at TV and learning from magazines
thinking you can shake it to make it
skipping prom queen to be a porn queen
no 401k plan to lap dances and doing pole scenes

why must you live a life on degrade
whats the rush, to be a woman,
when the best is coming
shawty wait
your time is coming believe me I know it
keep up the good grades of getting A's
and not waiting to past the test in getting Aids
its not too late
become the princess to queen
no more do you have to wear a baby T saying DEMEAN!

wrap it up, don't wrap it tight
cause your day will come
when you will be respected right

Just Focus!!!!!

 

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

BE THINKING..........

Sitting here wondering,
is love that great to gamble,
to lose everything including a friendship?

 

 

So I lay at nights smiling at the darkness
and remembering how your smile use to light the way
I remember when we made love
yes we made love
how you stare at me with squinting eyes
talked to me with you biting on lips
and played your songs through gyrating hips
you gave me the best of you without planning a evening
We were so natural
I mean we bonded like a mother and infant

What happen to those days

Lets take it back further
when I use to push you cause I liked you
and say ewww I didn't like that ugly girl
but we kept coming back
remember my note to you
Do you like me? Check the box yes / no /or maybe
gave you a cherry flavored candy ring to be my lady

what happen to us


Sometime after school, we slipped
or was it my time in the service

we flipped
we got a little nervous
I asked you to be with me forever
and you said no
and three more attempts later
you cried
and said yes in mumbles

and then it began

the incline down a slope of obstacles
and hurdles we couldn't leap
trying to resolve our problems without a spiritual belief
nites of arguments that had us with lost voices
and lack of sleep

while I'm at work
being mean to each other, that hurt
sometimes I would find the longest way home
just to pray you were already sleep
never played that dawg,
to hang with my friends and creep
thought about it
but I wasn't that weak

again I ask, What happen?

Now in the office of legal separation of marital affairs(DIVORCE COURT)
waiting for the judge to denounce us
to pronounce us single man and single woman
and only thing going through my mind next

is there such thing as break up ***

I swear, "If I can only have that day back",

but for now......

I be thinking!

 

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

NOT COMPROMISING MY HAPPINESS.......

You were and always be my love

A honesty to live life

A way to enjoy love

I breathe every aging moment of your being

Your existing is far more than a meaning

A prayer when those wish for that,

Now I’m seeing to believing



An Investment to a death do us part retirement plan

I am you King, your leading man

I stepped up and took the role

Of your father and mother

With a promise to them to keep you protected & whole



You do make me happy

But you are far from the source of my happiness

I’m starting to see

See futures of you possibly destroying that

I schooled to educate and learn us, just  knowledge for better futures

I worked

Working harder than our ancestors did without the torture attached

I build, with the very arms and legs

Shackles to chains, sweat through blood

A foundation for two that is slowly breaking my back



You never seen a man cry to you see a man die



I’m dying

And no love

No hold

No kiss to heal my pain

Can give me back the happiness you stripped away

Day by day

I pray and pray

Prayed sun up and sun down on days

Where the very woman who said she would loved me

The one who at night will lay with me

Has yet to kneel down and cry with me when I pray







I’m in love with you

But love never asked me to compromise my happiness

At some point that I purposely take a long route home

To count the very last minutes of happiness before

Walking through the front door

Too happy for this moment

Smiling and breathing with the wind

Shining and blushing with the sun

Leaving the practice of green

Which is happiness for me, a surviving need

Till I approach the dark clouded block

Enriched by smog and slum

Where….

Death grows in the plants that represent tombstones

Of those died trying

Passing signs that say, “you are now entering sadness & leaving Happiness”!

Like two different time zones my high noon, becomes howling midnights

Atmospheric changes from warm to cold

Trying to succeed happiness through love

Through a love one

Making them the source of your happiness



Watch my enlightening colors turn to black and white

As I cross the border of happiness to sadness

If this was lease on vehicle

I would gladly trade this uprising feeling

For the feeling of new happiness of me again



The morning I told you I love you

so many years ago,

Was the last day you ever heard or seen me again

Representatives sat in for me during the divorce

Cause I could not spoil this freedom of being happy again

While in minutes, we drop our heads to the decision of our marital end



When you find this happiness I found

And admit that it was never there

With us

Look over that rainbow across the way

Its now pot of gold at the end of it

It’s a man who’s world gleams in happiness



No more compromising the confusion of love

Making me happy

It was me,

It was me at all the time.

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

BEACHBALL(Haiku)

BEACHBALL(Haiku)

All is left from dad

The beach ball that he blew up

Inside, his last breath!


BY LeRoy Goetzendanner

IS SHE OUT THERE

Looking past my backyard

across busy streets

beyond flowing bodies of waters

crossing borders of distant lands

skipping across the equator

and facing the back of my head

I'm in search for her

looking for that sign of deliverance

praying on that blessing

hoping to to wake up with one rib less than I went to sleep with

Is she out there

should I continue my mental voyage

for closure to a long awaited search

that my heart beated in pounding communication

a distress signal of wanting

a silent whistle for the needing

will love answer my cry

and come to my place

surround my space

and call my foundation her new home

Is she listening

Without talking and speaking in silent prayers

I reach to the highest maker

to take a hand full of sand

mixed with my donated rib

and your now here for me to wake up to

to be ideal with on her own mind

to know her role by compromise

to save my soul from fading

recessatate my heart from flat lining

Is she searching too

The day I was born, I was born for you

not by arrangements

some kind of ritual or engagement

I mean we were born for one, individually in two

as I dream,

I hope your dreaming

when I pray

I know your praying

when I love

you are already in love

when will this dream end

the day I pull you out of subconsciousness

like Freddy

and make a dream come true

it is

it always, was you

Still straing into nowhere

hoping to snap out into somewhere

and distorted visions becoming clarity

because I see you here......

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

BLUSH TOUCH

A flavor that you would not find on a wine list
a chill that would have your summer air seeing winter mist
A kiss that wets your desires,
ignites fires within
leaving you with only a reminder on your pallet
Her name was Blush and what a rush I got from heart skipping beats
to me studdering when I speak
and things down below rised beyond its peak

Blush had a physique of a curvacious Reisling bottles
my kinda nubian top model
made every eye that saw her glide, take long & slow swallows
put my head above the clouds with pride
cause I was outside, with a venus as my bride,
that made clouds aligned themselves to the sun
making a heavenly smile in the sky

Blush,
just saying her name makes my mouth water
in no particular sequencial order
lips tingle cause I keep thinking about the first taste of
her sweet liquids that kissed me back
she drained me and filled me in just one contact
issssh,
I was like a school boy under the cherry tree getting that first kiss
and when I got it
I didnt know how to act

Blush,
she had a colors that cinnamons got jealous of
caramels would lean in to compare
only to fall in love
she was a Goddess from a Blush
a cool with a heated rush
flushed

hell if I could sing
I would have stood up
holding her name and her frame
until I made sweet songs in poems come up

Blush,
you were just a memory of yesterday I'm trying bring into today
and maybe stay with me pass tomorrow
she is kind to my heart
Blush gave me a reason to a poetic start
so why today I feel so thirsty yet dry
and my quencher is half past hollow

I need yesterday back,
I need the rush of the purchase
and first taste
the satisfaction
and the longing first time reaction
to Blush
the best intoxication I ever had
and looking to having again!BLUSH!