DA ITCH......(Day #3 NPM)

Home alone,
wanted to scroll through my phone list
for one to bone
I can't sleep properly
I need the feeling and that workout
that has me knocked out, with tung out
and smiling in my sleep

dayum

This blood strain
got me swollen like a wasp sting
veins poppin out to northern pain
I'm open
but not for that self inflicting fix
somewhere, someone out there is going through what I'm feeling
who will respond to man down and standing up
911, night nurse, FWB come quick
No convo, except in physical slow mo
fast fwd button to thrusting hard on is it wet then dry tone
tossing
turning
can't get it out of my head
need to feel moisture, sweetness, muskiness in my room and bed

sigh

pressing play for the porno
F the glass, go heads up on the Moscato
unfair situation
I'm still without that isssh
going to sleep on my own knock out
Dayum I got DA ITCH.....

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

ALMOST.....(Day #2, NPM)

I come very close to love, loving, and being in love
and each time, I succeed a little more than the last
The demons in the rear of me reminding me of the past
"as I poet",
I'm born to say the right things
with the right lines
manipulate minds time after time
and this is my leaning
I was brought up to respect a woman
take care of a woman
and love a woman
but I find little hope of keeping a woman
thats when it happened

My last chance.......

was shorter than a probation period
as I was quickly taken on a high
because the first time in my life,
I was on a mental connection that had me lifted
I took in her breath and tasted each exhale
felt the earth moving from her heart beat
found the strength again when I lived in weak
but somehow I travel down a different street
I was plotting on her heart,
cuz I felt mine being offer to her as well
but there is always a side that comes to light
that side you don't want to admit is your life

And as I hid this part of me, focusing on the representing me
the disappointing me, displayed its selfishness
I became more complicated
my own name become the reality of my beliefs
I was no longer taking the long way to your heart
I was playing with it, when I didn't earn it
I took it like I was a thief
made you hurt in grief
while day in and day out, I was getting colder
while you were steady fighting in what you believed
 Now look at me,
filling the vacancy announcement of being alone
watching you walking away while finding happiness on your own
see there is no such thing as love so close
you either are in love, or you are in lust
as the true reflection revealed itself in the mirror
it came to me, it was me all along....
now I live with the new name, " ALMOST"!

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

30 DAYS OF THOUGHTS (Day#1, NPM) Late entry

I guess this will be my confession
a transgression to imperfect progrssion
I'm taking all suggestions
if I can be a poet,
than, why can I evolve into a spoken word profession
why can't I let go of bringing papers to stages
like I easily letting go another Love chapter,
written on two pages
where is my passion?
I can start with ending as the beginning
speak with feeling as if it just happen
but had happen was
I still can't recite anything and everything that went from fantasy
now all my dried inks memories
is this my turmoil
is writing and posting poetry, is what is meant for me??

Question to myself, "why do you write"?
Do you deserve the right to be wrongfully delegated as a poet?
Are you just writing for the enticement,
cause your brain produces images, your pens need to eject inks
so later your paper can hold scribble, as after the laughter it would show it
who is this floet
prediction of common usage, like that of a pre-schooler
your phrases are short term, like you memory it wont learn
while your writes are as long as a wood ruler

Your not going to make it in this art
your creativity is just repeated thoughts with a different title
you can't even fall back in your seat during a interview
and give your critique or personal view
what or who is poetry is you muse, who do you claim as your idol

Now I lay my pen on to paper
I prayed my lines are as strong as the maker
if all mypoems replies is true to my face
then there one less poet who can make this mistake,

I stand in my own shadow
before the moon becomes full
and we will see
see
if I can survive 29 more days
with substance,
and writing in bull......

APRIL IS POETRY MONTH

April is, "Poetry Month", so I task my fellow poets to write for 30 straight days during the month of April. That's a poem a day. The catch, you are putting your mind to fresh ideas and new pieces. Don't rush it, but try it. Add more to your stock piles of poetry already in existence. I send you blessings and prayers for your journey. I'm looking foreword to the challenges as well as some mountains of new pieces to read.

Blessings,
Twist~

CAN'T COMPETE...

I'm burning inside
constantly begging and pleading
while asking God
why o why?
What was your reason to interrupt what WE had
maybe it wasn't in your plan, done without your conscent
I'm trying to comprehend the bad

You took her from me
and offered her your hand and a secured love
and a life much better than me
giving her these unadulterated images
that made her bath in your waters to become pure again
and she said....
"if I needed your love", that I would come before him

But I see it will take more than that
I never seen so such happiness in your eyes when you whispered his name
couldnt understand your love for him, when you kneeled down and prayed
now your hidden talents are inspired
You're inspired to act on higher passions, I try to lead in exchangebale desires
cleansing her thoughts of communicating with love through the physical
sharing with her your love high, thats only sensual through your spiritual

Look at her,
look how she glows in her footsteps
watch how her smiles radiates, like a woman who is blessed
how can I measure up to that
should I walk the ways of the Lord to get her back

this nonsense

I'm sitting in a corner talking in tongues with liquid spirits
instead of lifting my spirits, getting the spirit,
"lost without you, can't help myself,
"how does it feel"....
"DAYUM"
Look at me
look how you have me singing love songs
on long nights of not having you put me to sleep
turning over on the side of my bed, checking my phone for a vibrate or beep
a tweet maybe
that one minute after 12 midnight call
the happening without planning
positioning without standing
I'm withdrawn, from withstanding
not understanding but overtstanding

relentlessly,

I'm not a hater
nor am I a person that would stand in the way of
happiness
I send my congrats to that lucky man on bended knee and folded hands
re-evaluating my mission

and...

why was I delivered to you in the first place
how can I clear my mind of you,
when you left so many so called, "sinful reminders", in my space
I'm tainted to a eternal feeling that was not meant for me
sitting in windows helplessly feeling the worst kind of guilty
cause with the right words,
saying hi in the right kiss,
an embrace in one day,  forced out of retirement of your sernity
a treasure that measured longer than your 401K savings
how good it felt to hear her withdrawning,
from deposits of me

What am I doing?

working the words the man downstairs gave to me
a second chance to to fulfill my goals
by the devils entitlement, "Words from the Soul"

"DAYUM",

I just have to let go
try real hard to let you go
stand in your shadows and not in your light
and watch you walk faithfully away
towards destiny...
a reform, a refresh, a rebuilt body
Mind, body, and soul
I give up sinfully trying


I CAN'T COMPETE......

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

ITS OK TO MOURN

Its ok to still mourn....


Its been eighteen years to this day,
how is it I can't let go of you leaving me.
Maybe if I didn't go away,
I could have been there to save your
life instead of you dying alone.
The day was so vivid like I'm seeing it,
like I'm living it.
I'm crying just trying to write about it.
I blame you for not telling me when you hurt,
I blame GOD for not putting in his work.
I'm in blame for not being there for you,
I never left the phone or your presence
without telling you, " I love you".

Excuse me if I pause,
cause the reason for this piece,
is strictly towards your cause.
I often go by the place of your passing,
I think back to our connections,
good times and for 3 seconds
I start laughing.
But now I'm alone,
the best half of me has
perished,
the greater love for life, sometimes,
has me in a daze, for days I less cherish.
I still stop by your place to talk to
you,
knowing you no longer live there,
that you are no longer live here.
I even get caught up seeing people who
resemble you,
step up only to face disappointment.


Can you just give me one day LORD,
just one day to have them here,
to have good convo's.
bring them up to par for,
my progressions, transgression,
limited digressions,
while sippin on beer!
Can you give me hope of being
the good person in heart as they were.
Can I make people smile,
like you made me smile!
How can I be complete knowing
you are gone.
Its been too long, and still cry on,
but in me you live on!

Its ok to mourn for you...
but I still miss you......Dad! 

By LeRoy Goetzendanner

STILL HERE WITH ME

You Still here with me (miss you dad)

A old poem for a missed friend!


Looking at the mirror, I still say Good morning to you,
though you are not here, my reflection is that of you,
I dress up nicely and put on the smell goods,
reminding me of your up keeps and cleansiness,
I cook breakfast and dinners and smell perfection,
of a good chef cooking for his family,
Own a luxury car, just like your style,
you had style, so I smile at that gift,
and when I smile, you smile back,
mirror still projects your image and not mine.
Its hard being called by your first and last name,
I still look around to see if you would answer when you're called.
I see the pride in your eyes when I'm in uniform,
the same pride you carried when you are wearing yours.
The only reason I could ever be a good father,
Well, look down on me, you don't need an explanation,
its the pass on to offspring from generation to
generation.
Though every 24th of March your birth,
every 16th of October of your leaving,
I still cry to this day, 18 years and counting.
Some pray on the father,
but I pray to you father, as your serve the highest
positions with the higher FATHER.
I know you and LeRoy Sr are very proud of LeRoy 3rd.
I even have the talent you have in poetry, that thing
you pass down to me in spoken word
This will be read to millions, heard by more.
We all wish you happy birthday and many more.
Your still here with me..
some that know you, can still see it,
some that see me, then will believe it,
the things I do, they say thats your dad doing that,
I live with pride, I love until I cry,
I miss you with hurt inside,
to still see you,
through my watery eyes
You are and forever will be

Still here with me....

By LeRoy Goetzendanner