JEALOUSY & INSECURITY

I gave birth to a set of emotions

twins that day, months earlier I was impregnated by love

Their names didn’t come until sometime later

I notice their mission after procreation

Maybe it came with the quick submission

After bonding exchanges had me labeling us IN LOVE

As our job description

Not quite my hiring position

after explanation

There was no way of me turning back

And then attention to others came in the picture

That’s when Jealousy announced his presence

as I was deceived by my eyes

then insecurity, the other twin popped up in a JEALOUSY disguise

So I was confused

Felt a bit used

But you gave the situation straight up, without misleading me with clues

All of sudden the love for poetry have me singing the blues



JEALOUSY & INSECURITY



Only a few weeks into the picture

These two were causing me mayhem

Destroying the once strength made of a man

With emotions made for a woman, NO SECRET

I was falling deeper into a self-made trap laid by me

I was the hunter and the prey in my poetry

Lost my sense of direction going down one way streets

Caught between two chains

One on each hand

JEALOUSY laughing vigorously

INSECURITY following JEALOUSY plan

Need to place these two in time out time 3

They got me losing sleep

Appetite lost to eat

Confusing one job from another

To lifting weights making me stronger, rising up to be weak

So I tried, though I’m lying when I say I was trying to separate the two

Ignored JEALOUSY for a while

But INSECURITY was stuck to me like glue

As INSECURITY grew

My worst fears became nightmares of Elm Street

JEALOUSY got into my dreams

Now they were both back to controlling me.

Going out control with my feelings

I hate what I Was feeling

How I was feeling

And what I was doing when I feeling it

So I wrote, injected black and blue inks in my forearm

To stick negativity through thoughts and poetry in my blood stream



JEALOUSY & INSECURITY



Just put them two up for adoption

Following by weeks of rehab

And cold baths

Sleepless nights

And drinking bad

Derogatory poems

Hitting walls when real mad

Cutting the umbilical cord on social connection

Adjusting back to no physical of not getting physical connection

Convincing myself that the short term period of affection was

A long term infection that was in need of a cure called “MENTAL CORRECTION”

Passing around the collection

Plate, but not for cash but guidance in suggestion

I need help to relieve myself of these twins

Before they become the reasons and seasons for my death bed

inhaling to exhale so they can be the thing of the past

graduated from rehab

I'm sane man again

Secured and cured from the infidelities 

No fills of feels without refills and reminders about..



JEALOUSY AND INSECURITY

By LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner