DON"T MAKE ME CHOOSE

Backed into a corner
I knew
I knew this day would come
late night arguments after coming back
from late nites on stage
silence in two different rooms
when I'm engaged in memorizing todays written page
She said I'm too close to my work
its almost like your cheating on me through words
I read your pieces
not one about me or we
in vocabulary, phrases to languages that are unheard
she said I wont pray with her
but she witnessing me giving thanks to my pen
raising praises to my leather cover hard back
camel complexion notebook(she gave me)
as I smiled in AMENS!

She says I shut her off somedays with my Ipod touch
hoping on night my hands were softly touch...her
my eyes peacefully closed
sometimes smiling
somedays shedding tears
her looking at me with jealousy
cause in heart, she dont want to hear what I want to hear (me)


So she threatened me one day
said she would take my life
my lifes work
place it in a pile
and burn in front of my face
I took on another face
that day(gemini showing colors)
You burn my work
you already killed me
and this will leave you lonely with me still here
So I said,
no,
I told her I love her and I was sincere
but lets makes this perfectly clear
love is love, but there are boundaries passed here
so give me options, dont make me choose

Her reply with tears in her eyes
She said then you must choose
who is going to be your infinite
over being a definite
who do you want to wake up to
to smile too
sleep in embrace too
and die together too

I grasp my pen in sweaty palms
clutching my notebook in my arms
as tears fell to my eyes
and she too begin to cry
Dont make me choose
dont make me cancel this longing
this feeling
dont make me break the very foundation that got us here

You're asking me to choose a love over being in love
my head fell buried in my book
while my tears bubbled against the leather book cover
my first pen, with initials inscribed
are fading from heated palms from sweats
I close my eyes
and prayed to my Lord to save us
I pray loud enough for her to pray for us
silence became out breaths
listening closely
are heart beats communicated for us

I got up to embrace her with pen and notebook in hand
held her tight like the responsibility of her man
slightly moved back
kissed her gently
told her I love her......

Years later, I often think about the last night I saw her
and days, months and years after my spoken words got
stronger
I was a lie living with a truth
lying about who I loved
and who was just a love
I'm sorry I just loved you
You woke me up that night
when you ask me to choose
Since then
my marriage to poetry has kept me happily ever after.

No more choices, just choose happiness!!

POETRY!

By LeRoy Goetzendanner