PICTURED DREAM..

Echoes of the last connection
in my dreams I See him smiling
moments before my smile returned to him
a flash appeared from a cannon
still moments of me curled in the phonebooth
smells of dampness in Scottland air
Me, with head down missing you
while I hear your voice in pride
Hours of conversing until my lide fell  heavy
I woke up by a vision  of you
with cold chills on a heated body
You were waving while smiling in tears
this was too scary
since I have never seen you cry before
I rush to the communications deck
asking permission for an emergency call
but our signals some how got crossed
yours signal beeping busy
and mine, with a need of a pick up voice
try again I chanted with a different connection in mind
beggin in my hello voice
asking this familiar voice to call the intended voice
slowly, my sweat fail down my face like cries
busy signals haunted me
as I keep seeing the vision of waving, crying
and that cold chill on my heated body
giving up on the connection
a slept that night fearfully with eyes open
blanket my body heat from those passing chills
remembering waking up days later
when I enter our home
discovering you, Dad, sleeping long
for your already departure trip to heaven.......
BY LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner

LECHEROUS

Hungry eyes
a predator through manhood muscles
dominating collections of serenity on male Chasity belt
my intentions are by smells of pheromones
vision detects rise in heat and increasing heart beats
constantly salivating at passing victims to be
appetite will never settle
always looking for that rabbit hole the python can slide into
... Hungry eyes turning into burnt orange red
I no longer have a nest as home or bed to lay my head
routine will never be premeditated
always looking for originality in my Manish approach
every name I swallow has a asterisk with footnotes
I'm so lame with my hunting game
my captures being the next
keeping them trapped in my layer of endless sex
until my hunger in taste buds draws up another frame name
a unknown species
no characteristic of mine can be detected
shy roles to bold holds
sentimental baits laid in odors, oncoming’s won't feel neglected
Hungry eyes full in satisfying muscled lies
another one taken
looking for the next in mating
hidden behind brown eyes is.......LECHEROUS
BY LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner

PRESERVATION, MR....

I'm a can of preservatives
freshly sealed and hidden away
you couldn't tell by the way I talk or walk
or the words I say from a smiling face
that I'm, a body savings and loan
I pledged away my life to save
something like a time capsule
until that one discovers me and unearth my contents
a soul mates archeology love discovery
I'm placing myself as "serenity status"-
when they ask about my sex and relationship
I surrender my body to the spiritual
saving all of me for all of WHO?
that answer only God knows
I'm taking a new road in life
where if I save this part of my life
that rewards will be the rewards
to my future wife
That her first kiss will be all I remember
that her touches would be all I can blindly feel
that her body, will be perfectly aligned
to mine based on a Godly design (RIB)
and she would be as purified as I
that when we make love
the thought of standing bare naked
could makes us shiver and shed tears in our eyes

See,
She would know that this love is original
that WE were approved as one flesh
from the higher doctors in the spiritual clinicals
she will understand how much love will be released of me
how she will place the condoms to the side
and hold me during disbursing of ejaculating seeds

I hold a candle chanting, " I am Pure, I am Free, the answer to one love cure"
Believe me when I say that-
this has been an awesome feeling
I've learn to divide lust
and define LOVE much better
I communicate from the heart
and not my visual thoughts
I respect every woman as my vegetables
and not as passing meats in farmers markets
I'm Conservative for seasons
reserved to the highest for personal reasons
I don't want to be a "just because life"
I want to live a "just life"
because this is how I live
saving a lot to for one I give
this is my price, flat cost with no bids
the middle man, less subtractions to actions
more progressing in additives is how I live
I am, I live as "MR PRESERVATIVE"........until the day I can live love again!

By LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner

EARNED GIFT..........

Patience with time
understanding in mind
God knew my heart
I already knew who I loved

EARNING

Compromise to change
one flesh to one name
Independence now divorce
dependent on "US" has taken its course

EARNED

Trust in my honesty
ask God as my reference about "loyalty
I'm soul lost in search of love
way past finding it mortally, I'm building on it spiritually

EARNED

You search is done
I came to you,
so you would not have to find me
my direction in life was guided
I was born for you
My rib guided me to you
my heart revives in beats with you
I thought about love
with you,
I stop thinking and started feeling
blessing answered
rewards came in long sleeps
until the next day we open eyes to eyes
We rise
and we were announced as our "EARNED GIFTS"

LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner

SAILING

Unpurchased ticket
no entrance was placed before my eyes
this wasn't your journey
a mirage, of never catching this ride
... your bridge way, was never my connection
more like a "see, but don't touch"
I believe I was mislead....truly mislead

I'm still pier side
praying that the roster said "one passenger short"
but your Captain keeps full steam ahead
I thought I was ready for this voyage
maybe,
maybe I had to much baggage for this cruise
a easy, yet judgemental call
something I'm so what accustom to

I get it,
I planned to far ahead
didn't even know I wasn't up for consideration
to be name upon your endless voyage
Why didn't I see the sign
I was the only one happy about the trip
while you look at me with much unwelcoming
no note
no wake up call
no text in reminder that the ship was departing

I get it
this cruise was never advertised
or a personal invitation
I mis-read the announcement
encrypted, "I'm leaving"
the silent note never written said, "you're not going"
The captain and her was the only attendance
that he, was her voyage with no return
didn't realize, I was just a line handler
sending the two on a voyage towards the sun
with enough fuel for one destination
for two hearts in the sunset,
where their love is destined to burn......SAILING

By LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner

COMPLETE...(a finished poem)

Over, its...over, its.....
door slowly closes
inhaling the last time you will be
exhaling the first time I can breathe
but I'm not breathing
I'm disbursing heavy sighs
on the sighs sound like me screaming. "WHY"
and why is with high pitch
... so its mimics cries
cries have no tears
so I shed tears in lies
lies are truth that I didn't want to to let go
but I let go before I really could grab hold
held on to hold that didn't quite hold back
hold back is when I held back that brings me to...

Over, its...Over, its......

Sad, when faces are longer than stretched gum
gum was the chewing of lies I couldn't swallow
swallowing led to me regurgitating the truth
truth is, I lost you even before I had you
you were, I thought, made me complete
complete with uncompleted missions of being we
so we
are incompletely uncompleted to be complete
complete...ly over, its....completely.........OVER!
BY LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner

WEATHER, OH WEATHER

If it rain
would you run from it
me,
I like to play in it
sometimes lay it
cuz I know heavens tears
falls on me
weather, weather, weather
... who's weather
what weather
why weather
when weather
let me continue to explain......

if the sunshine disappears
will your smile turn to a frown
or would you bring color
in your personal forecast
you become sun, through your brown eyes
Gray is not bad to blue skies
just hazel haze to viewing eyes
the weather, making the weather
this weather, that weather
not finish, let me continue.......

Exhale for a minute
blow against the light winds
a game we can play
called, Kissing air
try it with your eyes closed
wet your lips first
to feel the winds Cold
blow every time wind blows
feel the cool and calm
and that release that has you like, "WHOA"
my weather, my weather
our weather, making weather
but let me continue.....

Shall we make a song
clap to the thunder
hands up and wave to oceans swells
fly against the wind
blink in codes to the sun
turn in circles to mimic tornadoes
scream with howling wind blows
jump up when rain falls down
fall down and freeze like snow
weather, oh weather
what you do to me
but let me continue...

Lets blaze in the dark shade
night time we see it
still light out
moon light out
different air, different freedom
run around chasing shadows, chasing us
how many firefly's can you catch at one time
let me see how they bring out the night dark in your eyes

Weather is our friend
weather is our love
weather is whatever we want it to be
soothing weather that flies above
weather our weather
even on ground its love
made between you and me.
By LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner

CAN'T SLEEP

Trying to close my eyes without remembering your smile

feeling your eyes on mine

your laugh vibrating my cheek through my pillow

we, stretching out to temps of 72 degrees air blowing

and our body heats well above 88

embracing the touch of fresh linens

mixed with body oils that your skin glistens

I refuse to close my eyes

until I see yours fall first

wanting to watch your every movement

and see how long you can keep the smile

that you fell asleep too

Breathing you is so heavenly

a sound just below moaning

yet inviting

how do you dream with me here

what face would dare to see when lips touch in sleep

our bodies become entangled in covers

we sought each other out like egress to the blind

she smells so good when she breathes

feel so good when she toss and turn in her sleep

I feel her hidden talking to me

in wet poppin when she uncrosses her legs

Did I kiss you before you went to sleep?

Don't want to wake her

trying hard not to take her

in my chest is where she buries her head

I lost a full night a sleep

feathering my fingertips over the covers that are touching you

you have me arising before the sun

from the full moon I see from your back to me

I touch her with my body

she thanks me in heavy exhales

adjust her body to the stem cell that swells

I can't sleep

Won't sleep

until she wakes up seeing me.

By LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner

TITLED to be UNTITLED as a TITLE

Didn't stick to the topic
made my poem lose its focus
read more in between my mind
then I was reading between the lines
one stanza too many
a metaphor that was adlibs in commas
made the poem become uncomfortable
didn't know my love for words,
... would make me lose my momentum
all that my poem ever wanted was a good flow
to be titled untitled without being titled
watching as my pen walk away in disappointment
pen was so happily never after
now pen and paper will not collab
and I swore in my sleep
I heard hard drops fall to wood floor
waking up the next day
to a crime scene of blue ink like puddle
and my pen, lying dead in the center
paper decide to cover pen as a blanket
but warmth was too late for inks cold(code)blue
Poetry blames me for this misunderstanding
now, I can't even write without thinking about my poem^^^^^___________________________________UNTITLED
BY LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner

SAVING MYSELF FOR SOMEONE ELSE

Don't want to count the X's on the calender from which this began
try not to remember the last time
it was a good time
now I lay here sustaining to abstain
I'm a man
a man that has needs
a masculinity who needs to release
a shyness in the darkness
til the first shine of the moonlight
rises a ragging beast
I prayed on my last day of bonded flesh
that was the day I told my Lord, "Yes"
I ready to surrender and not be part of this mortal mess

waiting for God to create the best
from my rib will come creation
while I lay here to rest
start from day one like the beginning
see if the new her and new I, will pass the test
the second time around at best

I'm saving myself from someone Else's disease
preserving my life for that one to get me at soulful release
dying inside not to cross my faith
shaking like an addict cause I'm lured by the devils bait
not going to give up on you Lord
not going to give up on you my future in the making
not going to give up on you the eternal seeds of creation

I will be worth my wait
I know my wait to the blessings of my faith
my faith is towards my God while he sculpts and creates
creates the likeness of my dreams,
the body and soul of my mate

Its almost coming
I sense her knocking on my door
coming down my chimney
appearing from my lamp
it was worth saving and abstaining
worth to feel my rib come to life that day
I was saving myself
for you,
it was worth saving
saving all of me for all of you
until we finally be one that day!

Saving myself!




BY LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner

MY PROMISING HEART

My Promising Heart

So you think I don't love you

That I don't care for you

That I don't value your time

Appreciate you in my life

Let us take the time to evaluate my love

Now I'm giving you twenty questions to ask me

But I can only answer them on bended knee

Hands at pray

And eyes closed with head held high

Ask me if I love

Wait to I finish my pause

while waiting on God to call

Give you the answers through my spirit

Cause I love all

But I'm in love with you

How much do I love thee

Well if you love God like I do

That's how much I love WE

I care for you like my nights I sleep

To the time I rise with praise

You say I don't value your time

That we don't do anything

Try to remember back to our last date

A great date

When we were dancing and singing

In the Lords name

We held hands down the aisle

Fell to our knees

And gave ourselves to him

Now I don't know about you

But I will never forget that day

Remember studying together

How we talk about our meeting

And how our relationship grew by the days

Like the first 6 days of Genesis

Where each day was appreciated by God

And approved how our love was saved

And on the 7^th day

Three months later

We made love in the middle of fields

Dividing the U.S. capital from the Monument

And even though we were caught by police

The Lord almighty did not punish us for sharing our secrecy

Under his light, by his approving eyes

Remember the first time we both cried

Fell onto each shoulder until we looked into each

Others swollen eyes

and said I love you

Never once was I challenged to question your love

I saw it through your smile when I was around

I felt your beat heart even when I worked

50 miles across town

So devil brought you up

When you woke up

And made you question us now

Now I pray

So at the end of your questions

And my final answer ends with I do

The clouds will separate

The birds will sing with the harps played by angels

The ray of light casting through the curtains of my window

The spotlight is on me and you

"Yes"

Yes I love you

And I will always love you

This I do

I back it with my heart

My spirit

And its sign, sealed

With an official heavenly stamp of approval

On the bottom it says

I love you, and He does too

In God we trust!

By LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner

IS IT SUPPOSE TO HURT THIS BAD

Eyes trying to squint over swelling
I'm looking out the window at falling rain
oh, my bad
that's me crying uncontrollably next to my windows pain
its hurts ya'll
I mean
I never knew a man could feel lost
then watch his hurt walk away
I thought I was the source of happiness
but she was that source
that drained my thoughts away
sniffling, wiping red shot eyes
tissues everywhere
trying to zoom in to the last text you sent
and it wasn't a nice message either
The mistakes men make
the idea we could get away with murder
except for our own
tired of feeling like this
trying to understand before I cope with loneliness

Dayum its hard
this headache from pouring salt waters
doesn't compare to the murmur like pains in my heart
I feel like my world is slowly separating
I feel divided and no longer whole
one half falls to a puddles of soaking hurts up to his knees
while the other half laughs in you Fucked up dawg
bragging to my sad side about how your girl is here with me
I like to ask for that second chance
that look towards the future of my messing this up
trying so hard to lift my chin up
but my soul is heavy, my head is light, my heart is beat less
please tell me
does it really suppose to hurt like this.

By LeRoy TNW Goetzendanner

THE DIVIDE.............

The only thing that keeps this love from growing
is the emotional walls we keep building
torn between a obstacle of hurt and healing
we dreamed to feel again
... instead of living in nightmares of failures.
Vibes and connections are always right
so at small levels we might lower our guards
but our defenses are stronger than holding cells in Alcatraz
so like in football
when a play or move goes wrong
we start throwing up red flags
which causes us to add more bricks to our love Tetris
We aren't afraid to love once again
but we fear the consequences of loving and not being loved
we began to analyze things with our self insecurities
our heart becomes an HR process for every application
as our heart loses the key elements that makes us this way
EAT, taking away from our hEArT, eating away our desires
not wanting to consume the smell and taste of love
and how one point,
we believed that love
love was healthy to our mind, body, and soul
but now
we store love away like damaged bags on a luggage rack
hoping to encase it in a ice box that can never be re opened
but baby, I'm just as scared as you
and on my side of the wall
its filled with feelings in graffiti poems on how much I love you
See I'm ready to take this emotional sledge hammer
and use it to break down the wall between us
so my hammer can be an lovers bow and arrow
with a target going through your heart and into mine
while we embrace and it strikes us both with love at the same time
We can either take a chance to move foreword
or keep building to a wall going nowhere
can we compromise a solution?
Lets multiply and continue to add on
not keep subtracting us to this wall of DIVIDE.......

UNTITLED........

My sunshine died quickly
darkness falls before me
bright blues and highlighted whites
smothered by grayness
smells like an air full of sadness
I know this is just water
but I feel pain
heart passes messages through blood stream
... hoping that membrane won't respond to change
its dreary
eye sight is not that clear but teary
force tears from falling cries
High winds to try to calm me
but even mello's from wind blows are lies
raising my hand to shield the hurt
the pain that falls for my eternal feelings
you want a emotional man
first show me
an emotionless woman
and then we will have balance.........

#TNW